We are sharing this chapter of Act, Rest, Reset, Repeat by Katie Hodgetts for members of our Hopeful Book Club.
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Chapter 10
“First forget inspiration. Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you’re inspired or not.”
Octavia Butler
Resilience is not a fixed trait. We aren’t born resilient or not. It is something we intentionally unlock, through seismic life events, healing, transformation and intentional work. Even once we’ve done the inner work, resilience can fluctuate – trust me. You will move through seasons of feeling more able to participate than others, which is why building the practice of resilience is fundamental for longterm engagement with your cause. This requires both an understanding of our strategies to unlock resilience and the intention of committing to them regularly. Intentional practice – or resilience strategies – are often overlooked as something we do at the point of crisis rather than something we weave into our life. They can be considered superfluous. I’m here to tell you that they are not. Our minds may convince us that intentional and regular practice is not important, because deep down we don’t want to engage with the discipline, time and effort that they require. Waking up early to write, read or craft is not easy. Meal planning on a Sunday when you’re exhausted is not easy. Getting yourself off social media and out for an evening walk is not easy. But we can do hard things.
In fact, this world requires us to do so. If you can do the hard thing of loving a failing world, you can do the hard thing of positive practice too. You’re worth it.
Resilience as a Rucksack
Instead of resilience as a binary concept – you either have it or you don’t – imagine instead your sense of resilience like a rucksack. Some days it’s light, filled with rest and laughter. Other days it’s crammed with sorrow, doubt and the silent weight of trying. But the beauty of the rucksack is that it can be unpacked, repacked and shared every single day. Our resilience rucksack reminds us that resilience isn’t an inherent and endless resource but something we carry around with us every day that requires our consistent attention.
The first step is to turn our attention lovingly toward our rucksack and see what heavy things we are holding. These could be a range of stressors: relationship difficulties, work anxiety or simply hanger (hunger-induced anger). We then have the opportunity to repack them – alone or with others – with the things that nourish and sustain us. We refill our rucksacks with the large, medium and small contents that engender our feelings of strength and capacity.
Large items are the foundational elements of resilience, including basics like sufficient sleep, nourishing food and a sense of safety. When these large items are missing from our rucksack, our ability to manage stress and challenge is severely compromised. Medium items include lifestyle practices and activities that can help maintain balance, such as running clubs, meaningful conversations or asking for support from trusted people. Medium items remind us that self-care is not a one-time event but an ongoing commitment. Finally, small items, while seemingly less impactful, can have a surprisingly significant effect during moments of adversity. Simple pleasures like laughter, a good oat flat white or feeling the sun on our skin can lift our spirits and remind us why life is worth fighting for. They act as quick, accessible reminders of hope and beauty, even during difficult times. The large, medium and small items sit together to occupy the space in our rucksacks. On our backs, they don’t weigh us down but, conversely, they lift us up, acting like buoyancy aids.
As each of us is unique, the contents of our rucksacks may vary. Start by mentally designing yours to be unique to you and your life story. Does it have secret pockets for snacks? What colour is it? Is it covered in mud or in pristine condition? I know that mine is a little battered, green, covered in badges from the places I’ve lived and full of secret zips to hold the loving things my community have said to me over the years.
Sometimes we will need an inventory upgrade. We may slip into an exhaustion and filling our rucksack doesn’t provide the level of buoyancy we need. I have been here. In this place, I went for the walks, did the yoga and engaged in the breathwork and I still felt deflated. I sat in puzzling confusion about why my tools weren’t working until I realized that in this time and space, I needed different tools: I needed an upgrade. I needed therapeutic support, sharing circles and lengthy social media breaks. The resilience rucksack analogy is just as much about identifying our large, medium and small items as it is about remaining aware that our fluctuating and changing needs might require upgrades.
The exercise at the end of this chapter is the basis for the Resilience Rucksack session in The Resilience Project’s Resilience Circles. We begin by journalling around the challenges of engaging with our chosen justice area – what keeps our rucksacks feeling heavy. Some previous examples in climate Circles have been:
- I feel like I need to knowledgeable about everything.
- I feel overwhelmed by information and misinformation.
- I feel like the “climate correspondent” for my friends.
- I feel the guilt of not doing enough.
- I feel like my family don’t understand me.
- I don’t see other people who look like me in the movement.
We then anonymously write one thing on a sticky note. The group gathers in a circle and take it in turns to read out a different note. If it resonates with you and you agree, you step into the circle, stay for a few seconds, then step back out. It is an exercise to highlight shared experience and anonymously share the dark truths that may sit deep within us. It creates a feeling of being seen, heard and understood and reminds us that we aren’t alone in our struggles.
We then repeat the exercise but with the journalling prompt “What helps is . . .” so that we can start to unlock our resilience strategies. Some we’ve had in the past are:
- Going to the cinema alone
- Asking my friends for help
- Getting a good night’s sleep
- Creating zines
- Limiting my time on social media
- Going on a walk, even for ten minutes
- Not looking at my phone first thing in the morning
- Sleeping with my phone in a different room
- Takng a morning walk before I start my day
- Having therapy
- Dancing in my kitchen
- Singing alone in the shower
- Limiting my time spent on the news to 30 minutes a day
The importance of Discipline
I’m sorry to inform you that discipline is an important part of this story. With its military, self-flagellation and rigid connotations, discipline and resilience may feel like oxymorons, but discipline creates the structure for softness. If you are disciplined in waking up early in the morning, you have more time to carve out space for yourself, before you inhibit the identity of student, worker or changemaker. You might choose to go on a short walk, meditate, exercise or spend time making a delicious breakfast. Discipline is required so that when we feel like crap, we go through our inventory and grab something from our rucksack. We get up and get out of our heads and into our bodies. We call a friend.
Discipline doesn’t need to be the stick; it can be the carrot. Through my own ill taste for the military feel of the word discipline, I coined the term “radical encouragement”. Discipline may get you out of bed by decreeing that if you don’t, you’re lazy and a failure. Radical encouragement on the other hand softly says, “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool to get up early and watch the sunrise – I know you love sunrises. Heck, how about we go to bed at 9pm so we can get nine hours sleep too?” If you’re struggling to find that voice, imagine how your best friend would speak to you. They wouldn’t berate and shame you. They would gently nudge you toward actions that you’ll be grateful for in the future. Radical encouragement is not the voice of self-hatred, it’s the voice of self-compassion and doing things first and foremost not because you should, but because you are in love with yourself. Sometimes, that’s chocolate and a film. But sometimes it’s training for a half marathon to expand your preconceived limitations; or engaging in the grind of climbing a mountain, to remind yourself that you are a tiny piece of this enormous landscape. We can do discipline without negative self-talk and self-flagellation. Only the discipline that comes with self-love is sustainable. With each of the things in your rucksack, consider, “Am I doing this because I feel inadequate?” or, “Am I doing this because I am in love with myself?”
Exercise: The Resilience Rucksack
Objective: This is a reflective group exercise to explore shared challenges (what keeps our rucksacks heavy) and resilience tools (what keeps us light). If you’re doing this as an individual, make it a journalling exercise.
Materials needed:
- Journal and pen
- Sticky notes
Step One: Reflection – The Weight We Carry Journal Prompt:
“What do I find the most difficult things about engaging with my cause?”
Take 5–10 minutes to write freely in your journal. Let the truth come through, even if it feels messy or contradictory.
If in a group, distil one aspect of your reflection onto a single sticky note. Keep it to a sentence or even just a phrase. You won’t be attaching your name to it. Place your sticky note anonymously in the centre of the circle formed by the group.
Step Two: Stepping In and Stepping Out (for groups)
Each person in turn draws and reads aloud a sticky note while standing in the circle. After each one is read, if it resonates with you, step into the circle. Stay there for a few breaths in silence, then step back.
Repeat until all notes are read.
Debrief.
Invite optional reflections:
- What did it feel like to hear these truths?
- What did it feel like to see others step in with you?
Step Three: Reflection – What Helps
Now shift the focus to resilience.
Journal Prompt:
“What helps me feel resilient is . . . ”
Again, write freely. Then distil one thing that supports your resilience onto a new sticky note.
Step Four: Stepping In and Stepping
Out (for groups)
Place the sticky notes in the centre. Repeat the previous process, reading each note aloud and stepping into the circle if it resonates.
As the group witnesses shared strategies, the room will begin to feel a little lighter.
Step Five: Carrying the Rucksack
Now imagine the rucksack you carry with you. It may feel heavy or light on different days. What matters is that we know what helps fill it and that we’re not carrying it alone. Visualize putting the rucksack on, with all your intentional practices, and explore what it feels like to embody resilience, strength and balance.
Step Six: Commitment
From all the strategies explored, pick one and commit to trying it out as many days as possible over the next week.
Permission to Have Bad Days
There will be tough days where intentional practice feels too far away. That’s okay, there is always tomorrow. Today, remember that we always have the agency to add something to our rucksack, even if it is the smallest item of affirmation, whispering in your ear, “I can do this.” Ultimately, building, maintaining and upgrading your Resilience Rucksack is a lifelong practice. It’s an evolving commitment to caring for ourselves so we can continue to care for the world around us.
